Newborns are just about the cutest things on the planet, and there is nothing better than taking in that sweet, newborn smell as you snuggle your new bundle of joy. For the first couple of months, your daytime hours will be jampacked with baby cuddles, diapers, and feeding schedules, and your nights tend to blend into the same.
Bringing your baby home will change your life in all the best ways. Those changes will be overwhelmingly good, but it’s no secret that parenthood requires sacrifice. Newborns haven’t yet settled into what we think of as an ordinary day-night cycle. Instead, their sleep schedule is much more chaotic. They’ll sleep a lot, up to 15.5 hours per day initially, but it won’t be all at once, and it won’t be all at night. Before long, your baby will settle into a regular sleep schedule, and a little temporary sleep deprivation will have been worth it.
Tips for Surviving Sleepless Newborn Nights
Until your baby is a few months old, they won’t have any sense of a day-night schedule, and they’ll need to be fed every few hours. It’s a great opportunity to bond with your baby more closely than any other time in their lives, and while the sleepless nights are worth it, sleep deprivation is real. Surviving those early sleepless nights will require compassion, flexibility, and a creative approach. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
Sleep when your baby sleeps
Newborns nap a lot, and you might be tempted to use your little one’s naptime to catch up on your other responsibilities or obligations. Time is precious; we get it. But if you’re tired and need some rest, make your baby’s naptime your naptime too! Depending on how long your baby sleeps, you might even be able to catch a few zzz’s and still have time to check a few things off your to-do list.
Ditch the unimportant stuff
Even without a baby, life has a lot of demands. You may have work or school obligations, be involved in clubs, or volunteer at other organizations. You’ve got to do the shopping and keep the house clean, mow the lawn, walk the dog, return that phone call, and a few dozen other things. Add a baby into the mix, and you’re bound to get overwhelmed.
It’s okay to let a few things go or do things to make your life easier. Order groceries instead of shopping in person, let the dishes pile up, and let the grass grow a little longer before mowing. Your loved ones will understand the shift in priorities, and they might even step in to pick up the slack. On that note…
Ask for support
Whatever your support system looks like, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Perhaps there are grandparents, aunts, uncles, or family friends who could care for your baby for a few hours or a day, allowing you to recover. If you aren’t comfortable sending your child away, bring your support system into your home.
Friends and family can also help in other ways. Delivering prepared dinners or helping with household chores can free up time for you to breathe easier. Allow them to tidy up, wash dishes, or fold laundry while you feed your baby, chat, or rest. Ask for help, and allow those who love you to help wherever possible.
Creative routines and reminders
When you’re sleep-deprived and taking care of a new baby, tracking feeding, growth, and sleep while trying to remember the last time you showered can be overwhelming. All-in-one apps, such as Baby Tracker-Newborn Log, Huckleberry, or Nara Baby Tracker, can help you track routines and development in one place. You can also set reminders on your phone or a smart speaker, such as Alexa or Siri, to remind you to take your medication or give Vitamin D drops to your baby. Only set two or three reminders, as too many notifications can give you alert fatigue.
For sleep-deprived new moms, routines offer a sense of control in the chaos. Simple, repeatable habits, such as regular feeding times and nightly bedtime routines, reduce stress and help both mom and baby feel more settled. Routines don’t have to be rigid. Even small habits like starting the day with a glass of water or doing Kegels while brushing your teeth can bring a sense of clarity to your day.
Split nighttime duties
Although this may not be feasible in every family situation, consider taking turns with a partner or other caregivers to allow each of you to get some rest.
That might mean alternating nights or splitting the night into shifts. You can also split duties in other ways. For instance, one parent might focus on caring for the baby while the other focuses on getting sleep. Or, if one person is responsible for feeding, the other might be responsible for changing diapers. Find the division of duties that works best for you.
Get an energy boost
If you’re purely exhausted and need a pick-me-up, try having a (midnight) snack. Snacks rich in healthy fats, fiber, protein, and complex carbohydrates will give you the energy boost you need to get through that next feeding. If you’ve ever wanted an excuse to indulge in your favorite snacks, this is it!
Snacking may be especially beneficial if you’re nursing and need the extra calories for milk production. A drink of cold water or a caffeinated beverage (as long as you don’t overdo it) can help to perk you up. Alternatively, going for a walk provides sunshine and fresh air to help boost your body and mind; it’s also a great bonding opportunity if you take your baby with you!
Maintain good sleep hygiene (or try to)
A baby will interrupt your sleep schedule plenty; try to avoid things that will make matters worse. Avoid caffeine in the hours before bedtime, put your phone away, and try to maintain a consistent routine where possible so your body knows when it’s time to sleep.
Remember, this will pass
The first couple of months, your baby will average 15 hours of sleep per day, scattered seemingly at random over the course of 24 hours. But by the age of three to five months, most babies sleep through the night most nights, with a few shorter naps throughout the day.
When to Ask for Help
The first couple months of your baby’s life are some of the most precious, but they aren’t easy. The added stress and lack of sleep can sometimes feel overwhelming. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you should know that you’re not alone.
Postpartum depression impacts approximately one in ten non-birthing parents and one in five birthing parents. Signs and symptoms of postpartum depression include:
- Extreme sadness
- Anger
- Loss of hope
- Sleeplessness, even when your baby is sleeping
Even through the added stress, the first few months of your baby’s life are joyful and exciting. If you have overwhelming negative feelings or feel unable to cope, seek help from friends, family, or the pediatric care team here at Families First Pediatrics. If you’re breastfeeding and find it to be painful, frustrating, or overwhelming for you or your baby, our in-house lactation specialists are here to offer support and ensure you and your baby are off on the right start. Adjusting to a new baby takes time, and we’re here to help you in any way we can.
