The bonds formed with parents and caregivers are the first and most meaningful in your baby’s life. Over the first moments, days, and weeks after birth, you and your baby will form an intense attachment, driving you to protect them and shower them with love. For some people, the parental bond forms immediately, from the moment you and your baby first meet. For others, it can take a little time.
How quickly you and your baby bond can depend on a whole host of factors. Obstacles to bonding include a complicated birthing process, extended post-natal medical, personal difficulties at home, general exhaustion, postpartum depression, and more. In fact, postpartum depression and anxiety are incredibly common. Approximately 15% of birthing parents report postpartum depression, and as many as three-quarters report temporary “baby blues” shortly after delivery.
Whether you’re struggling to connect with your newborn or looking for new ways to bond, try these ten simple ways to form effective and meaningful connections with your baby.
Skin-to-skin Contact
Sometimes referred to as “kangaroo care,” skin-to-skin contact centers on a physical bond between baby and caregiver. Hold your baby to your bare chest and cover both of you with a blanket. Your little one can wear a diaper, socks, and/or hats to help keep warm, but you want to maximize skin contact. Try to eliminate distractions and focus on being together. Babies become accustomed to your smell, voice, and touch during these sessions. Don’t overthink it. Babies love cuddles. When we cuddle, the brain releases a wave of oxytocin, often called the love or bonding hormone. Oxytocin makes babies feel safe in their surroundings and makes parents feel happy, comfortable, and calm. Oxytocin is nature’s love potion, and it’s only a cuddle away.
Make the Most of Feeding Time
Whether you decide to breastfeed or bottle feed, your baby’s feedings are an important opportunity for close contact. Look your baby in the eye during feedings, smile, and talk to them. Your baby will recognize your voice from being inside the womb. Newborns need to be fed every few hours around the clock, which provides a built-in opportunity for both parents to get some much-needed face time. If you’re having challenges breastfeeding or if feeding time is frustrating for you or your baby, our in-house lactation specialists are here to provide support. Don’t hesitate to schedule an appointment, as they’re here to address any concerns you have.
Make Bath Time Fun
Bath time is a chance for you and your baby to play and explore some new sensations. Talk to your baby while bathing them, even when they are too young to understand what you’re saying. Talk about how the water feels on their skin or how the baby soap smells. As your baby gets older, you can incorporate fun toys to make bath time even more fun.
Respond and Interact With Your Newborn
Newborns will be seeking social interactions with their caregivers. Your baby will start to look to you to respond to their needs, cries, and babbles. Paying attention to your baby and responding to them lets them know that you hear them and care about them. Keep the conversation going by reading, singing songs, playing games, or talking with your baby. Imitating your baby’s noises and pausing will allow them to engage in the conversation as well.
Comfort Your Baby When They Cry
Some parents think that responding to crying will somehow “spoil” their baby or encourage them to cry more often. The truth is that you can’t ruin your baby by loving them too much. React quickly when you hear crying so you can assess the cause and respond appropriately. Crying is the way your baby lets you know they need something, and it’s the perfect opportunity to bond.
Carry Your Baby
Many newborns feel safest and most comfortable when held by a caregiver. Carrying and rocking a baby in your arms are two of the most common soothing methods. Carry your baby in your arms whenever possible to increase body contact. A carrier or sling is another way of keeping your baby close while freeing up your arms and allowing you to do other things while still having your baby close. Think of this as an extension of the womb where they felt so safe for the last 9 months.
Ask for Help
Engage family or friends to help out if and when they are able. Balancing newborn care with the rest of life’s demands can be overwhelming; please feel empowered to take breaks to care for yourself. When you are able to care for yourself well, you will be more able to care for your newborn.
