Maybe meals feel more tense, foods they once enjoyed are suddenly off-limits, or your child seems more withdrawn around food and their body. As a parent, you know your child’s rhythms, so when something feels different, it’s hard to ignore. You might feel worried, confused, or even question yourself. If you’re noticing changes, you’re not overreacting; you’re paying attention. And paying attention is one of the most powerful ways parents and caretakers can begin to support their child’s wellbeing.
Can children and teens have eating disorders?
When most people think of eating disorders, they often imagine adults or older teenage girls. This myth can make it harder for families to recognize early warning signs in younger children, boys, or teens who don’t “fit the stereotype.”
The truth is that eating disorders can affect anyone including young children, tweens, teenagers, and adults. They can affect children and teens of all body shapes and sizes and all genders. Understanding this helps parents and caregivers respond sooner and with compassion rather than confusion.
How Signs May Differ by Age
Eating disorders don’t look the same at every developmental stage. A six-year-old will not show symptoms the same way a sixteen-year-old might. Recognizing age-specific patterns can help parents and caregivers feel more confident in knowing when to gently check in.
Signs of Eating Disorders in Younger Children:
- Increased rigidity around food or mealtimes
- Fear of choking, vomiting, or certain textures
- Avoidance of previously accepted foods
- Distress or meltdowns tied to eating
Signs of Eating Disorders in Teens:
- Secrecy around food
- Dieting behaviors
- Increased body comparison
- Emotional withdrawal
- Strong influence from social media
Seeing changes in your child does not mean you have failed as a parent or caregiver. In fact, it means you’re tuned in. Paying attention, asking questions, and seeking understanding are signs of deep care. You don’t have to have all the answers right now but your willingness to notice, learn more about eating disorders, and respond thoughtfully is a powerful first step.
Common Types of Eating Disorders in Children and Adolescents
When dealing with an eating disorder, many children experience mixed or changing symptoms and don’t necessarily fit neatly into one category, especially during adolescence. Symptoms can overlap and individual experiences play a role in the overall picture. However, understanding these four main categories of eating disorders can help parents recognize patterns and seek appropriate support.
Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID)
ARFID involves restrictive eating that is not primarily driven by body image concerns. It may relate to sensory sensitivities, fear of choking or vomiting, or limited interest in food. It is often identified in younger children, though it can continue into adolescence.
Anorexia Nervosa
Anorexia involves significant restriction of food intake and intense fear of weight gain or body changes. While more commonly diagnosed in adolescence, early signs can begin earlier.
Bulimia Nervosa
Bulimia includes cycles of binge eating followed by behaviors meant to compensate, such as vomiting, fasting, or excessive exercise. It is most often identified in teens.
Binge Eating Disorder
This condition involves recurrent episodes of eating large amounts of food with a sense of loss of control and distress, without regular compensatory behaviors.
What can contribute to eating disorders in children and teens?
Parents often wonder, “What caused this?” The honest answer is that eating disorders are complex mental health conditions shaped by emotional, biological, social, and developmental factors. They are not caused by one conversation, one meal, or one parenting decision. Contributing factors include:
- Emotional Wellbeing: Anxiety, depression, trauma, or difficulty regulating emotions can influence eating behaviors.
- Sensory Sensitivities and Neurodiversity: Some children experience heightened sensory processing or rigidity that impacts food acceptance.
- Stress and Transitions: School changes, puberty, family transitions, or identity development can increase vulnerability.
- Social Media and Appearance Pressure: Teens today navigate constant exposure to curated and filtered imagery. Online content often represents unrealistic standards and does not reflect real life.
- Puberty and Body Changes: Rapid body changes during puberty can heighten self-consciousness and comparison.
- Perfectionism and Performance Culture: Academic pressure, sports environments, or achievement-focused settings can increase risk, especially when control becomes tied to self-worth.
Early Signs of Eating Disorders in Children and Adolescents
Eating disorders rarely appear “out of nowhere.” Often, there are early shifts in behavior, mood, or routines. If something feels “off,” trust your instincts. Early conversations can make a meaningful difference in how your child interacts with you moving forward. These signs are not diagnoses but rather signals that it may be time to check in.
Age-Specific Early Signs Checklist
Early Signs in Younger Children
- Sudden rigidity about food rules
- Extreme distress if certain foods are served
- Avoidance of entire food groups
- Fear of choking, vomiting, or feeling “full”
- Noticeable drop in variety of acceptable foods
- Increased anxiety around mealtimes
- Meltdowns tied specifically to food
- Complaints of stomachaches that occur mainly around mealtime
- Withdrawal from social eating situations (group activities, birthday parties, dinner dates, etc.)
Early Signs in Tweens and Teens
- Skipping meals or eating very small portions
- New dieting behaviors or elimination of food groups
- Increased secrecy around eating
- Frequent mirror checking or body comparison
- Excessive exercise tied to guilt about food
- Avoidance of family meals
- Mood changes, irritability, or emotional withdrawal
- Increased time spent viewing appearance-focused content online
- Wearing baggy clothing to hide body changes
How to Talk to a Child or Teen About Eating and Body Image Concerns
Many parents worry about “saying the wrong thing” especially when trying to talk to an already hormonal and moody preteen or teen. Starting the conversation may feel intimidating, especially if you’re unsure how your child will respond. Try to approach it gently and with reassurance at the forefront. Let them know they are not in trouble and that this isn’t about blame or punishment. Make it clear that you’re on their team. When children and teens feel supported rather than judged, they are much more likely to open up. Your calm presence and curiosity rather than accusation can help create the safety they need to share what’s really going on.
With Younger Children
When talking with a younger child, focus on creating a sense of reassurance and safety. Use simple, clear language and keep the conversation centered on feelings rather than food rules or behaviors. Let them know you’ve noticed something seems hard and that you want to understand, not correct or punish. For example, you might say, “I’ve noticed mealtimes seem stressful lately. Can you tell me what feels hard?” This gentle approach helps your child feel supported and more comfortable opening up.
With Teens
When talking with a teen or preteen, aim to respect their autonomy and invite collaboration rather than control. Approach the conversation as a partnership, not a lecture, and avoid ultimatums that may shut communication down. Let them know you care and want to understand their experience. You might say, “I care about you, and I’ve noticed some changes. I’d love to understand what’s been going on.” This tone helps teens feel heard, valued, and more willing to open up.
For Anyone Struggling With an Eating Disorder
- Focus on feelings: When you talk with your child or teen, try to center the conversation on stress, emotions, and overall wellbeing rather than food alone. You might ask how they’ve been feeling lately, whether anything has felt overwhelming, or if there’s been pressure at school, with friends, or online. Framing the discussion around how they’re coping with the things going on in their life, both emotionally and mentally, helps them feel seen as a whole person, not just their eating habits. This approach opens the door to connection and understanding.
- Avoid criticism and negativity: At the same time, do your best to avoid blame, threats, or comments about appearance. Statements that focus on weight, looks, or consequences can unintentionally increase shame or defensiveness. Instead of trying to control or correct, aim to listen and support. A calm, compassionate tone communicates that your priority is their health and happiness and you are not looking for perfectionism or to punish them.
Supporting Children, Teens, and Families
Recovery is rarely a solo process, and no child or teen should have to navigate it alone. Children and teens benefit most from coordinated, developmentally appropriate care. Early professional guidance may include a pediatrician or primary care provider, a mental health professional, a dietitian trained in youth eating disorders, a school counselor, or even a trusted coach or adult mentor. These supports work best when they complement what matters most which is the consistent love and presence of a parent or caregiver. Your role is not to become a food monitor or enforcer, but to remain a reliable source of safety, stability, and reassurance. When children feel that their parent(s) are firmly in their corner, it strengthens their sense of security during a vulnerable time.
Creating a supportive home environment can make a meaningful difference. Avoid appearance-based comments, even well-intended compliments about their body, and instead focus on overall wellbeing and character strengths. Model balanced, flexible eating and healthy rest, especially in sports or performance settings. Encourage open conversations about stress and emotions so your child knows their feelings are welcome and heard.
Healing takes time, and there may be ups and downs along the way. But resilience grows in emotionally safe spaces, and your steady love, patience, and concern are powerful protective factors in your child’s recovery journey.
Where to Get Help for Childhood and Adolescent Eating Disorders
If you’re feeling concerned about your child or teen, it’s okay to seek support early. You do not need to wait for things to become severe or crisis-level before reaching out for support and advice. Reaching out for advice and support can start with:
- Your child’s pediatrician who, if needed, can connect you with one of our in-house therapists
- A school counselor
- A family therapist
- A national or local helpline
All of these resources exist to guide families through uncertain moments, not just emergencies. Both parents and teens deserve reassurance, expert guidance, and steady support along the way. If you’re concerned, don’t hesitate to discuss it with your child’s pediatric provider.
Eating disorders can begin in childhood or adolescence, but so can recovery. With early intervention, compassionate care, and patience, children can rebuild healthy relationships with food, their bodies, and themselves. The simple but powerful steps of noticing changes, asking gentle questions, and seeking support early truly make a difference. You don’t have to navigate this alone. There is help available, hope ahead, and healing possible, for both you and your child.
