Parenting is possibly one of the most rewarding jobs, while simultaneously being one of the most overwhelming. Daily efforts in teaching, correcting, and guiding—while nursing wounds and comforting hurt feelings—are just a small part of the job. Though it may seem difficult to recognize these moments as positive or rewarding, they are often what carry us forward and renew our sense of hope each day.
Creating joyful moments in today’s busy world does not need to feel overwhelming. In fact, spending more quality time with your child—whether it’s fifteen minutes of focused attention or an hour of shared activities each day—can strengthen the bond between a child and their caregivers. Research shows that children who have a secure attachment with their caregivers are more likely to cooperate, accept guidance, and internalize family values. Securely attached children also tend to be happier and more confident.
How do we create special moments and help our children along the way? Here are a few tips:
Be Present and Connect
Being present and emotionally available for your child means intentionally showing up for them. This may involve setting aside your phone, work, or other distractions to be intentional with your presence.
Carve out fifteen minutes a day to spend intentional, high-quality time with your child. Allow your child to take the lead. No directions or critiques during this time—just connection. Let them know you see them and have a desire to spend time with them beyond the regular demands of parenting.
Touch
Physical touch is great for connection. Some children crave hugs throughout the day, whereas other children may feel overwhelmed and would benefit more from a squeeze on the arm or a touch on their shoulder. Although, it never hurts to offer a hug!
Transitions
When possible, be present with your child during times of transition. Before and after school, daycare, extra-curricular activities, and being with friends are all transition times. Being available to your child at these times can open opportunities for connection and emotional regulation. Observing their demeanor during transitions can tell you a lot about what they experienced while away. A caring parent can help regulate emotions during these moments by giving support and encouragement, as well as a soft place to land.
Emotions
Allow children to have emotions. Listen to and believe that their experiences are real to them. As a parent or caregiver, be aware of your own emotions. Emotions can influence the level of patience and intensity of reactions in difficult moments—but keep in mind that it is okay to be human. Repairing with your child after a difficult moment is an opportunity to model healthy, authentic relationship dynamics.
Trust
Allow your child to explore and experiment. It can feel hard when you want to protect your children or fear for their safety, but managing your own anxieties can allow your child to gain confidence as they try new things. A toddler may feel ultimate pride as they successfully jump off a small rock, and a teen might know they are trusted when they take the car out for the first time alone. Love your child for the person they are and let them know it.
Creating and savoring the moments that make parenting joyful are well worth the effort. Smile with your child as you play, laugh, and experience special moments together. The roughly 900 weeks we get to spend with our children pass quickly. Try to savor the moments—knowing they can be both challenging and beautiful at the same time!
